In response to my initial project outline, I was informed of a weakness of my artistic vision. This weakness was that I had set out to explore these relationships people have with figures without properly explaining or expressing what they mean to me, and thus what perspective I am coming from. Somewhere in the back of my mind I always knew this project would turn into a form of self portrait, or at least expression. And while I intend to use other people's relationships later on in this term, for now I feel the focus should be on my own relationship with these plastic beings.
So, when thinking about what these figures mean to me, I eventually determined there is no single reason they are important to me, but several. There is a strong possibility that I will explore some or all of these themes in upcoming works on this blog, and one of them is all but confirmed. So, time to see what my self analyzing has come up with at this point.
(disclaimer: What follows is a combination of previously refined thoughts and stream of conscious writing. It is not intended as the be all and end all of my thoughts of emotions, but rather what I was feeling at the time. Its intent for the most part is to help me figure out where I am going, but also to give any readers a bit of insight as to how I eventually got where I will be in the weeks and months to come.)
Collection
People collect things. There is probably numerous reasons people collect things, but lots of people do. From casual observation and conversations this urge to collect happens much more often in males.
This article- http://emagazine.credit-suisse.com/app/article/index.cfm?fuseaction=OpenArticle&aoid=178176&lang=EN
gives a good overview of collecting in general, but my last comment about male collecting, combined with a read of this article has provided an interesting insight. The article states that male collectors often hide their collections, keep them seperate from their external lives. What I know from an older teacher friend of mine definately proves this point. He has a few action figures, hundreds of airplain models, and thousands of collectable fishing lures. All of them, or most of them exist in his closet.
When it comes to my stance, I am constantly looking for a better way to display my figures and collections. If I still had a trading card collection I was proud of, I would want to frame them instead of keep them in a book. My stance is much closer to that decribed as being a female form of collecting; I want the aspects of that I collect to be expressed visually, the extension of my personality they represent presented to those who enter my place of dwelling. However, I do not believe this to be a case of male vs female. I believe this is cultural, or what most would call sub-cultural. But I will go back to that later on.
The Pet idea.
This one came to me rather profoundly while shopping. Many people treat pets like children or even use them as surrogate children. Many pets change personalities depending on their owner, but is this really true with things like toys? One's experiences with toys, or that which the toy in question represents affects how one views and interacts with the toy creating a sort of artificial personality. When I was little, I would pretend anything was alive.
I wanted a pet rock, despite having many pets growing up. I wanted virtual pets, and toy animals even though I had real ones surrounding me all the time. I believe there is something there about giving life to an object, your own personal life. I create fictional characters for comics and roleplaying in the same way, and I treat them as such- as my children. There is an element of control here, one that I have to admit is somewhat uncomfortable; especially when relating these feelings to other, human and animal relationships. The control isn't as prevalent as something like creating a character, (though even that doesn't allow complete control) and perhaps like living relationships this is comforting. Because an action figure is a representation of a previously invented fictional being, it resists full control with the mythology built into its appearance, as well as its limitations as a figure.
This "pet" mentality has caused me to feel guilt about the way I treat my figures; though I realize not all of it is my fault. Now, I realize for most readers, guilt over an inanimate object is completely foolish, but attempt to stay with me. Most of the figures I like have the potential for movement. They have the potential for emotional changes, but I treat them like I do some of my more limited figures without articulation, statues. Now, certain immobile figures can be given life through play, or imagination, but I don't feel guilt there. I think a lot of this goes back to the idea of these toys as extensions of myself. I know I am more creative than simply leaving them in a certain pose for months or more at a time, so the guilt and feeling of lack of potential in them, is in turn feelings toward myself. This goes back to the statement made in the article about most female collections being extensions of their personality or family history. My figure's stagnation is a reflection of my own lack of time and even creative energy. I cannot help but think of zoo animals or pets in small cages, either becoming overweight, or developing muscle degeneration....
An Otaku aside...
I read this article (http://animeyume.com/blog/2009/09/07/why-do-we-buy-anime-collectibles/) and found it easy to relate to. It talks about how these characters in anime become known to the fan, unlike other collectible objects. People read comics, watch TV series, and form connections with these fictional characters. The author is also wise to include the fact that fictional characters do not actually exist in the real world. They have impact on fans, and I believe are still relevant entities, but they are not real, in the sense that they are real tangible people. Things like figures allow us fans of fictional media to bring these icons into our homes, and interact with them. They are a constant reminder of enjoyment we got from a work of fiction. So as to not spend too much time on overlapping thoughts, I will move on to what I believe is my most radical, and strong reasoning for collecting action figures, toys, statues, etc. of the sorts I do.
Religion/Culture
When I say religion, I don't exactly mean anything to do with God or theism. I am talking more in line with what we view today as mythology. Many have argued that comic book characters and the like are our new mythology, they are our new gods akin to the pantheons of Ancient Greece and Egypt. I have agreed with this for the longest time, and would almost consider myself to be a "follower" of this way of thinking. I have never really gone to church, not regularly, and not for religion. But I know what benefits religion can give. Religions tell stories and teach life lessons. They teach how to treat other people and the world, and teach what is right and what is wrong. They deal with moral dilemmas, and tales of what happens after death. Religions can be hosts to many different gods with many stories, some of which may differ within sects of religions. People interpret religions differently, and for each person religion is at least a slightly different thing. To me, comic books, anime, video games, TV series, they are all religious experiences to a degree. Not that I am not entertained by them as well, I do get all the simpler things most people get from them; but to me a lot of the time they mean so much more to me.
Sonic the Hedgehog was the first thing I remember considering a hero. This embarrassed me later in that day when I asked if I forgot about my grandfather. Certain anime series have been there for me through times of loss and grief, and told stories about being strong and fighting through times of darkness. Starting to watch Doctor Who for the first time, I soon found a new idol, though one in the form of a man of different forms and lives.
As I got into American comic books, I felt as though I was discovering a whole new world, and inducting myself in a completely new culture. As I explored this world more, I realized how fully the fictional hero to mythical god connection could be. Many iconic characters, Spiderman, Batman, etc. have been reintroduced to generation after generation. Each different, but each coming from an earlier source. A defined figure, a defined name, but interpretations vary. Just as Heracles became Hercules, and countless other mythological figures changed and were influenced in countless ways, these characters change, and stand like gods among us today.
With Japanese comics and animation, things work differently. There are few iconic "god" characters in this pantheon. But the importance and influence characters can have is just as strong; though admitably even harder to go into without riding a tangent wave further off topic.
To me there is a religious connection to figure collecting. I am bringing a part of my culture and some of the stories which shape my life and even external relationships into my home, and display them. Like someone looking at a religious icon hanging in their home and remembering stories of kindness and good they have grown up understanding and learning; I look up and see Sonic the Hedgehog. I remember how happy he made me as a child, and how happy he continues to make me. I subconsciously think of the positive lyrics in his theme songs, and the friendships which have been strengthened due to a mutual "worship." Even some characters I own which do not have a strong personal connection represent a connecting I am proud of having with my culture/sub-culture. I remember why I like, and find my world so interesting and fun to live in.
Conclusions and the Future
So, I have boiled my obsession to figures to a few key ideas.
One is that it is an expression of my culture. (which most would call a sub-culture) I am very proud and happy to be involved, and to be a fan of the things I am interested in; in the same way people are proud of their heritage, country, etc. Figures help my express this in a way I find visually appealing and dynamic.
Another is a combination of a pet mentality. This could be psycho-analyzed as maternal or paternal instincts I am sure. I find it enjoyable to have a representation of my culture in a tangible, almost living form on my shelves. I can keep an extension of a fictional being with me. A physical recording of a fictional life, one which I can care for and display. Something that produces emotions.
And lastly (for now) is the combination of the various ideas of the figures as an extension of myself. Not just my interests or culture, but an extension of the per/child mentality I touched upon. This also includes the ideas of my figures as a vessel for my roleplaying tendencies and my creativity. It is within these ideas which I have realized something I knew was festering for a long time. I really want/need to create my own figure/doll. I talked about how important these cultural objects are to me, and also how I feel sad for them, and my creativity for their lack of growth into their true potential. I have many of my own characters, my own extensions of self. Something like a child, but very different. Taking my own fictional creations and giving them the same treatment as the entities created by others would be amazing. That, or even creating an entity for the sole purpose of becoming a toy or doll. Building from scratch doesn't matter too much to me, but even using customization, an aspect of collectible toy culture I have always wished I had time for, would be amazing to me.
Will I be able to achieve this during the course of this, uhm, course is another story. But maybe I will be able to express some of my feelings toward that throughout my journey here.
Toys can be alive, they can die, and they can be revived. They come in different forms, qualities, and proportions. Throughout the forthcoming projects I will be keeping these ideas in mind as well as exploring what my thought stream up there has produced. To try and keep myself on track, I will try to focus on the three main points above as well; though cultural significance, (which is powerful and important to me) will be a challenge to represent visually.
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